Existing Without Your Love (OITNB)
by Becky3012
Summary: Piper is running Popi on her own as she no longer has contact with her ex-best friend Polly. She is focussing solely on her work life and her personal life is currently non-existent. After being released from Litchfield she kept in contact with Alex for 6 months but now has no idea of the whereabouts of Alex. She is just existing & yearning for Alex. Are they inevitable after all?
1. Chapter 1

After being released from prison Piper Chapman had a long struggle ahead. Adjusting from prison life was difficult and Piper often awoke in the middle of the night having night terrors. Since being released she decided to continue with her lifelong dream of making Popi a raging success however she no longer had her once trust worthy best friend and business partner, Polly. After discovering Larry and Polly had been having an affair behind her back whilst she struggled with the dangers and drama of Lichfield she cut all ties with both.

Piper now had a one bedroom apartment in Brooklyn which she could comfortably afford with a little help from the inheritance she had received upon her grandmother's death. It was rather spacious for a one bedroomed apartment. In the living room, she had an L shaped white leather sofa, an old rustic coffee table in the centre of the room and a book shelf absolutely filled with various genres from old classics, crime novels and poetry. She had a decent sized bedroom with a king-size four poster bed, which was rather unnecessary as she currently lived alone. Just off the bedroom was the most amazing en-suite. Piper had always loved getting clean. she loved baths. she loved showers. It was most undoubtedly her happy place. Even more so once being released from prison. She felt safe in the shower and it held so many special memories of a certain tall brunette for her. Her bathroom was the most spectacular room in her apartment; the room was huge and covered in large black tiles. In the middle of the en-suite was a huge double shower with massaging jets. There was a free-standing bath made of marble and marble his and hers sinks. This was Pipers favourite place to be.

Piper had just received another order for Popi and was on her way into work that cold, dark morning when she received a phone call on her mobile. She didn't recognise the number and was eager to get to work to see how her staff were progressing with the current order, so she decided to let it ring through to her answer phone. She arrived at work and was pleasantly greeted by Taystee. They had stayed in touch since being released and Piper had offered her a job at Popi as she needed people in her life she could trust to help her make a success of the business. Trust was everything to Piper as she had been screwed over by so many people, Alex, Larry, Polly… just to name a few.

"Morning Chapman, how's it going girl?"

"Morning Taystee, we have a lot of work to get through today. The order we received last night has a sharp deadline and we need to get going. Can you bring the paper work through to my office please?" Piper replied.

"Damn! You all business no pleasure this morning. I'll bring it through in a minute" Taystee countered. With that she spun on her heal and strutted off.

Piper continued into her office after saying good morning to the rest of her work force. Although Popi was reasonably successful, Piper wanted to push her business forward and develop it further. The current workshop was rather large, comfortably big enough for her ten-strong work force and she had her own private office where she could find sanctuary from the madness of the production process of the beauty products. Just as she sat in her plush leather desk chair her mobile phone received a message. She ignored the bleep of her phone and began sifting through numerous emails. She was interested in expanded the marketing for her products as well as trying to clinch deals that would mean her products were stocked in stores across the country as opposed to just the state of New York.

As she finished replying to various emails Taystee appeared in front of her desk with the paper work. She thanked her and began looking over the figures and numbers for the forthcoming order and was pleased that she had enough staff to deal with the capacity of the order. The day was nothing out of the ordinary and as she finished for the day at around 7pm she was feeling rather positive about how the order was progressing. She decided that she would walk home that night, although the weather wasn't particularly warm and there was a slight breeze in the air she felt she could use a short walk to unwind from the day at work.

Just as she reached the steps to her apartment block she noticed a car parked outside, the car was an Audi RX8 which looked out of place in this neighbourhood. She continued up the stairs to her apartment no longer thinking about the car and approached her apartment door. There was a letter outside her door, she scooped the letter up and continued inside. She placed her purse and the letter on the side in the kitchen and walked over to the refrigerator wondering what she could have for her dinner. After checking the refrigerator and being disappointed with the lack of food she had, she settled onto the sofa and ordered take out. She had a quiet evening reading one of her poetry books before retreating to her bed and falling asleep.

At 3am she awoke dripping with sweat and out of breath. She couldn't move for a short few moments as she was paralysed with fear from one of her nightmares. Yet another terror attack that was caused by her nightmares over Alex Vause.

She hadn't heard from Alex in quite some time. After she had released her and Alex had promised to keep in touch through letters as there was no possible way that she would be allowed on Alex's phone contact list thanks to the narcissistic, evil guards that ran the shit hole that was Litchfield. The letters continued between them for 6 months after her release, then she stopped getting replies from Alex. She thought of hundreds of scenarios as to why Alex had stopped responding and after trying to get in touch with other inmates to see if Alex was okay she decided to send one letter a week to Alex in the hope that one day she would get a reply. It was hell for Piper but that's the only thing she could do… hold out hope and wait to hear from Alex. Throwing herself into her work helped her cope with the mess that was her personal life as that's the only aspect of her life she was fully in control of.

She got out of bed and walked the short to her kitchen to grab a glass of water once she had fully recovered from her night terror. She stood against the kitchen work top, glass of water in one hand and the other rubbing her temple. It's going to be a long night she thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Unable to get back to sleep and with Alex occupying her mind since waking up from the terrible ordeal of her nightmare, Piper decided to read over some of the letters Alex had sent whilst they were still in contact…

 _Dear Pipes,_

 _Every single day I am reminded of you. All the memories we created in this place are keeping me going. Things round here seem to be getting worse, we haven't seen Caputo for a few weeks and Piscatella still seems to be running the place with his egotistical, controlling, fascist policies. The only hope I have of surviving in here is to hold onto the memories of you and knowing that you are safe. I can't walk inside the chapel without smirking knowing that was our special place will always make me smile. I hope everything is going well with Popi kid. I wish I could say more in these letters but as you know I cant._

 _'_ _Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.' – Rumi. We have overcome so many barriers to come this far and I know we can overcome whatever comes our way._

 _I heart you kid x A_

Piper sat sobbing and clutching the letter as close to her chest as she could. Her breathing was uneven as she sat rocking herself as she remembered all the wonderful memories she had created with Alex in the chapel. Her mind went back to the very first. So much desire and so much passion. She wanted Alex and Alex wanted her. That memory will always be so vivid in her mind. Alex was right they had overcome everything life had ever thrown at them, from drug cartel bosses to prison.

Sadness suddenly hit her when the stark reality of the fact she hadn't had contact with Alex for months. There must be another way to find out if she is okay. She had tried talking to Red but she was hesitant at giving any information away. She had never been Alex's biggest fan if the truth be told. Nicky hadn't replied to her letters since she left prison but they hardly parted on the best of terms and Nicky had been struggling with addiction, more than likely she was down the SHU or back in max. Piper just sat there in despair racking her brains for a new idea on how she could get in contact with Alex. She wished she could just go into the prison to visit one of her ex inmates, however once you left Litchfield under no circumstances where you allowed back there for at least two years. Piper had to get used to the idea that maybe her an Alex were just better off apart… at least for now. She needed to live her life somewhat and not just wait around waiting for Alex. The last she had heard Alex still had plenty of time to serve.

Eventually Piper stood from her position on the floor and walked over to her purse. She took out her phone and remembered that she had a voicemail from earlier that day It was now 4:30am and she decided that the message could wait till the morning, there wasn't much she could do now anyway. She walked back into her bedroom and crawled back into bed. She curled up clutching her knees to her chest and tried to clear her mind in the hope of eventually going back to sleep.

She had to be up at 6:30am and get to work, running your own business takes up a lot of your time. Luckily for Piper the more time she spent at work the less time she spent thinking about Alex. This probably isn't the healthiest coping mechanism but she no longer had her childhood best friend to lean on when times were tough. She had thought about seeing a therapist but only because the delightful Carol Chapman had insisted it was for the best but when it came down to it Piper didn't want to share her amazing, passionate, chaotic, downright insane relationship that she had with Alex. The relationship completely consumed her and she wasn't willing to have some head shrink of a psychiatrist judge and evaluate the ins and outs of her relationship with Alex. Alex meant too much to Piper, she couldn't even comprehend how she felt about Alex. They were so right for each other and at the same time drove each other insane. They were the perfect concoction for an unimaginable love story, one of a kind.

At 6:30am on the dot Piper got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to make a coffee, she was going to need a lot of caffeine to get through another full day at work. Orders were rolling in and as quickly as they could finish them, more orders rolled in. As good as it was for the bank balance it was hectic and put a lot of strain on Piper and her work force. In an ideal world, they needed to hire a few more girls but Piper didn't simply have the time to look through applications and conduct interviews. For now, they would just have to cope.

Piper finished making her coffee and grabbed her phone, she finally decided to listen to the voicemail that she had received the day before.

 _"_ _Piper, It's Cal. You really need to get in contact with Mom she is pestering me way more than usual and I suspect it's because she hasn't got your life to meddle in recently. Please sis just give her a call. Bye!"_

Well isn't that just absolutely wonderful she thought to herself. She was far too busy to have to deal with her mother and her WASPY ways. She had to see her mother sooner or later though or she would never hear the end of how she abandoned her family to run her own business when she could have just stuck to tradition and married a decent man and raised a family just like her mother had.

With a heavy sigh, Piper mentally prepared herself for what she was sure to be an eventful conversation with her Mother. As she dialled her mother's number she could feel the tension building with in her. The phone rang a few times and the anticipation began to kick in. Just as she was about to hang up when her mother answered.

"Piper dear, I had almost forgotten I had a daughter. Why haven't you been in touch recently?" Carol spoke in the most antagonising of tones.

"Hey Mom, I haven't had much time on my hands recently. How are you and Dad?" Piper replied. She was trying her best to not rise to her mother's bait.

"We are hosting a garden party this weekend and would really like it if you could be here." This was Carol's way of telling Piper she had no option and she would be attending the party.

Piper knowing full well how her mother operated responded how she was expected to. "Sounds great Mom, I'll be there. I have to go to work now we have a lot on at the moment, tell Dad I said hi."

Before her mother could even respond piper hung up the call, rolled her eyes and let out a loud sigh. This was the last thing she needed right now! Piper continued her day as normal and went to get dressed for work. She had three more days of work before she would have to leave for her Mother's house. She wasn't looking forward to heading back to the WASPY housewives of The Hamptons.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the working week went without a hitch and it was soon time to travel to her parents' house. Saturday morning and Piper awoke thinking this is going to be a long weekend. At least with the presence of Carol Chapman, Piper's mind would be occupied enough not to sit around pining for Alex. Piper was just loading her bag into the back of her car when she saw the same car she had seen a few nights earlier. She glanced towards the car with caution. It seemed rather odd for the same car to be parked outside with someone sat inside. The driver didn't seem to be doing anything unusual, although it was hard to gage exactly what was going on with the dark tinted windows on the vehicle. Once again Piper dismissed the car and walked round to the driver's seat of her BMW. She sat in the car and once again was mentally preparing herself for being in the same proximity as her mother. After a few moments, she started the engine and headed off towards The Hamptons.

After a two hour drive she pulled into the cul-de-sac her parents lived on. She slowly drove up the street admiring the perfectly mowed lawns and the white picket fences. As she pulled up to her parent's driveway she was greeted by her mother opening the front door. She was feeling rather apprehensive about the reception she was going to receive.

"Piper it's so nice of you to make an effort to finally come and see your family,"

"Hi Mom, you look lovely. I'm just going to get my things out the car and I'll come inside," Piper replied. She was doing her best to keep her temper in check. This was becoming increasingly more difficult as she got older. Her experiences in prison had taught her to stand up for what she believed in and fight for what she loved. Carol Chapman on the other hand was a total different ball game. The only way she was going to survive this weekend was if she played nice, painted a big smile on her face and complied with her mother's ideologies.

Piper grabbed her bag from the back of the car and walked up to the house. She inhaled harshly as she walked through the threshold of the door. The house seemed rather quiet considering it was hosting a garden party in a matter of a couple of hours. The weather wasn't particularly warm for an early spring day but any excuse for Carol to have a legitimate reason to drink meant the party would be going ahead. She made her way into the kitchen and greeted her farther.

"Hey Dad how are you?" She questioned in a surprisingly light and happy tone.

"Hey sweetie, gosh it's so good to see you and you look great hunny." Bill Chapman proceeded to walk up to his only daughter and wrap his arms around her, pulling her in to a tight hug. Bill had always had a soft spot for his one and only daughter. He was a hardworking man who had always provided for his family. Although he had issues being faithfull to Piper's mother, where his children were concerned he was the perfect gentleman.

After a few moments of pleasantries with her father Carol entered the room. She was acting slightly suspicious and her eyes were focused solely on her daughter.

"Piper I have a confession to make!"

Piper turned around so she was now facing her mother. She looked Carol directly in the eyes with one eye brow slightly raised. She was not prepared to be ambushed with what her mother was about to confess.

"I may have called you here under false pretences but it's only because I care about you Piper." Carol was using her fake sincere tone and Piper saw straight through the BS.

"What do you mean under false pretences mother! You need to tell me what an earth is going on!" Piper was becoming irate and raising her voice as she paced up and down the kitchen.

"Oh stop being so dramatic Piper! Like I said it's because I care about you. This evening I have invited Mr & Mrs Ford's son over for dinner. He's a charming young man, he's tall and handsome and he has a very good job and he works in the city too" Carol was now stood in front of Piper in a rather intimidating manor.

"Mom I don't need you to set me up on blind dates, I am happy as I am." Piper was speaking in a much calmer tone as she wanted to avoid a blazing row.

"Really? When was the last time you went on a date Piper or did anything that wasn't work related?" Paper flung her arms in the air and sighed.

"Well I have been busy at work lately, I want to make a successful business and that doesn't leave much time for fun!" Piper knew this wasn't a conversation she was going to win. She conceded to her mother.

"Fine I'll stay for dinner but that's it. This doesn't mean I'll be jumping into marriage with a random stranger I was set up with by my parents of all people. Just dinner amongst friends that's all I am willing to agree too!"

Piper walked upstairs to her old childhood bedroom, as she entered, she shut the door behind her and slumped to the floor resting her back against the door. She looked around the room recalling how she spent most of her child sat in this room avoiding her parents and whatever argument they were having at the time. She looked towards her dresser and there was a picture of herself and Polly from Prom framed in a beautiful silver frame. This made her blood boil. She had completely forgotten about all the memories her childhood bedroom held of her and her ex-best friend. She got to her feet and walked over to the dresser. Looking at the picture in closer detail, they looked so happy on the day of their Prom. Both dressed in beautiful, elegant dresses. Piper had worn her hair down that day, she had long blonde hair down to the middle of her back and her smile on the photo was beaming so bright it made her eyes sparkle the most beautiful shade of baby blue. Polly had worn her hair up in a bridal style bun and she looked beautiful.

After a moment, reminiscing Piper picked up the photo frame, traced her hands briefly over Polly and then she flung it into the wall with as much force as she could. "How fucking dare she shack up with Larry. First rule of friendship- never sleep with your best friends ex's" she muttered. She walked away from the mess on the floor into her bathroom and took a shower. She had to at least look somewhat presentable for dinner this evening she thought. So that's exactly what she intended on doing.


	4. Chapter 4

Piper had just finished in the shower and was dabbing her hair with the towel. She walked back in to her bedroom avoiding the mess she had made on the floor. She walked over to her bed and just flopped down onto her bed still in her towel. She wasn't sure how she felt about this evening with a blind date arranged by her mother. She wasn't even sure she was ready to jump back on the dating band-wagon. Her heart was still consumed by her love for Alex. Was it fair of her to let someone else get caught up in the Piper & Alex saga?

After about ten minutes of convincing herself that this was not a good idea she heard a knock on the bedroom door. "Piper are you almost ready? David Ford will be here shortly" her mother asked.

"Mom is this all really necessary? I'm not too sure how I feel about all of this!" Piper explained. She knew that her mother would stop at nothing to ensure she could have something to brag about in front of her friends. After all Carol Chapman lived to get one up on her friends.

Carol opened the door slightly to find Piper still in her towel and nowhere near ready for her dinner plans. "Piper we have discussed this already, it is one dinner with a charming, successful, handsome man. What an earth is wrong with you and why are you idly laying around in your towel. Can you just get ready and paint on your smile and come downstairs?" Carol was almost at the point of despair. She couldn't understand what the issue with Piper was. Sure, she knew about her daughters past with Alex and why she ended up in prison but she had no clue as to what happened between the two whilst they were in prison. She thought the sole reason for Piper and Larry calling off the engagement was due to Larry's infidelity with Polly. Carol had convinced herself that Piper was just led astray by Alex and it was simply a "phase" that her daughter had gone through. She still had her heart set on Piper having a beautiful wedding and marrying a successful handsome man who could support her whilst she had children and was the loving housewife. That's the American dream for WASPY women like Carol Chapman.

"I'll get ready now and come down. What time is he arriving?" Piper asked as she turned around facing away from her mother and rolling her eyes.

"He'll be here in half an hour, make sure you look presentable and nothing too short Piper you need to look sophisticated and classy, that's why we paid all that money for your education remember!" Carol walked out of the bedroom before Piper had a chance to reply.

Piper decided enough was enough. She curled her hair into loose curls, applied her make-up so it was subtle for the most part. She decided to disobey her mother's wishes when it came to her dress. She had had enough of her mother's meddling by this point and decided to wear a very tight fitted red dress that left very little to the imagination, it was low cut into a dipping V shape and had an open back. This was surely going to get a rise out of Carol Chapman. She finished her look off with a pair of 6inch black heels.

She had just finished putting on her shoes and she stood in front of the mirror to check her appearance before heading downstairs. She looked and felt sexy and although she had only dressed in this manor to annoy her mother she couldn't help but smile at her appearance. It reminded her of times when she was travelling across Europe and going out clubbing whilst Alex was looking for new girls to recruit into the business. Piper always loved dressing up and going dancing in the clubs whilst Alex worked. Alex would always feel somewhat guilty and by the end of the night they would be dancing together or sneaking off to the bathroom to enjoy a very different physical activity. She had very fond memories of dressing like this and going on adventures with the love of her life.

She took one last look in the mirror and smiled, she would have fun tonight even if it was at the expense of her mother. Just as she reached the bottom of the stairs the doorbell rang. With a coy smirk on her face she opened the door.

"Hi you must be David, I'm Piper its very nice to meet you." Piper spoke in an almost seductive tone and as she lent in to kiss him on the cheek she made sure she allowed a good view of her cleavage. Piper was determined to sabotage this dinner date by any means possible.

"Hi Piper, likewise." He replied in a nervous manor.

"Please come in I'll lead the way. You've met my parents before, right?" Piper turned on her heal and sauntered seductively into the kitchen which was currently occupied by Carol and Bill who were adding the finishing touches to dinner.

David followed Piper in to the kitchen and greeted Piper's parents. "Good evening Mr & Mrs Chapman, thank you very much for the invitation this evening."

Carol replied "Oh nonsense thank you for agreeing to join us this evening and please call me Carol. If you'd like to follow Bill through to the dining room and get a drink and my daughter and I will just add the finishing touches in here and be right with you." She already had her eyes on Piper and a fierce scolding look on her face.

"Sure, that sounds great, Thanks Carol." Bill and David left the kitchen and made small talk as they headed toward the dining room.

This gave Carol the perfect opportunity to put Piper down on her choice of clothing, which of course was her very intention when she suggested Bill take David into the dining room for a drink.

"Piper what are you wearing it isn't exactly the most appropriate attire to be wearing when potentially meeting a future partner. It doesn't give the right impression it makes you look shall we say easy!" Carol wasn't impressed to say the least.

"Oh and what impression would you like me to give off mother. That I'm some sort of damsel in distress that needs saving and needs a man to provide for her?" Piper retorted.

"Piper please for once can you just act like the daughter I raised. What happened to the polite young girl who wanted to impress people?" Carol was pleading by this point. She didn't want to be embarrassed by her daughter behaviour and heaven forbid if this got back to her friends.

"I went to prison remember or is that a part of my life you just choose to ignore. You can't be modest in prison mom." Piper smirked, grabbed the bottle of red wine on the kitchen counter and joined her 'date' and her father in the dining room.

The dinner continued with much of the same, Piper was taking every opportunity to disagree with her mother and winding her up in a subtle way knowing that Carol would not retaliate as she had her image to protect.

Just after they had finished their main course Piper was talking to David and found herself extremely bored by him wittering on about his job. He seemed to be a genuinely nice person but god she found him boring. She couldn't imagine her life with him, he wasn't particularly funny, sure he was nice to look at but she found him very dim. The topic of conversation had changed as to where she had been travelling and Piper took this opportunity to talk about her travels in Europe. Carol's face was an absolute sight for sore eyes the second Piper began talking about her travels with Alex, although Piper hadn't mentioned Alex yet it was only a matter of time.

Just as Piper was talking about her time in London and how she had visited all the top tourist spots and how much she had enjoyed her years travelling she dropped the bomb that Carol had hoped she wouldn't mention. "Yeh I really enjoyed travelling around the world with my Alex, I never really understood how lucky I was to experience all those different cultures and different places until I ended up in prison, it really gives you time to evaluate your life choices and experiences you know…"

Carol nearly had a heart attack at Piper's admission. Bill was just about to swallow a mouthful of his drink when Piper had mentioned prison and he proceeded to nearly choke on his drink. Carol was sat speechless whilst Bill was coughing and spluttering. The perfect scene for a first date by all accounts.

David was somewhat shocked with how open Piper had been with her confession, he politely ignored the scene unfolding in front of him and tried to change the subject of conversation. He was uncomfortable and now looking for a way out of this car crash of a dinner. After an awkward few more moments he made his excuses and proceeded to leave the Chapman household. Dinner was cut short and Piper felt some sense of achievement that she had one up on her mother. She had definitely put a spanner in the works of her mother's grand plans to find her a suitable husband. Carol and Bill were pissed to say the least and Piper probably wouldn't be in their good books for a long time.

Piper excused herself from her still rather shocked parents and went to bed. She had every intention of leaving early in the morning to avoid the wrath of Carol Chapman. At least they won't be meddling in my love life for quite some time she thought to herself. I certainly made sure of that tonight. Taystee will be in her element when she hears about this.

Piper got herself ready for bed and fell soundly asleep. She was no longer willing to live her life by her parent's standards and expectations and she had made that perfectly clear. Piper Elizabeth Chapman was no longer a push over who lived her life to please others. For the first night in a long-time Piper had a peaceful sleep and wasn't awoken by her recurring night terrors.

As Planned she awoke early in the morning, packed her bags into the back of her car and left her parents' house and headed back to Brooklyn. She knew she had a lot on at work in the coming weeks so she decided to spend her Sunday catching up on work emails and going through order invoices. What and eventful weekend it had been.


	5. Chapter 5

It had just gone 3am Monday morning and once again Piper awoke from her sleep in complete fright. Her hair was stuck to her head and her body was dripping with sweat. Yet another nightmare! After a few moments of adjusting to what was her nightmare and what was reality, her breathing became much more stable and the fear that had washed over her had subsided. She was so sick of waking up like this. Maybe she should speak to someone after all, she couldn't continue her life and make a success of herself when she had so many demons inside her. She got out of bed and headed towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. As she approached the fridge she focused on the letter that was on the kitchen worktop. She had completely forgotten about the note that had been left outside her door until now. She'd been so caught up in the Carol Chapman show that she hadn't remembered to open the letter.

She sat on the tall leather kitchen stool and looked at the letter. It had no post mark so it had been left there by someone who had been in the building. It was addressed to P Chapman. No Miss or Ms, just P Chapman. Although this wasn't too unusual and most people wouldn't think twice about this, after being in prison Piper was always on the defensive. Always looking for dangers that didn't necessarily exist. I guess that's what happens when some crazed hillbilly bible preaching maniac attacks you for no reason at all. It makes you become wary, makes you read into situations that much deeper and makes you analyse people's behaviour and demeanour so much more.

After looking at the letter with caution for a few moments Piper decided to just face her whatever was inside the letter. She opened the letter and straightened out the scruffy paper that was inside.

 _Hey Blondie,_

 _Long-time no see! So, I'm guessing you are out and doing okay for yourself. I'm getting in touch because my release date is coming up and I think you're going to want to talk to me about a certain tall brunette that you may or may not be in love with. Who am I to judge. I had to get a friend to write this and get them to find you because well I didn't know where you lived and things in here are shall we say different these days._

 _Anyway, I get out a week on Monday and I plan on heading back into the city. Just thought I'd give you a heads-up kid. I'll come and find you as I'm guessing you'll have a shop making soap somewhere so you shouldn't be too hard to track down._

 _Speak to you soon…_

 _Nichols_

Piper sat on her stool in her kitchen in shock, she was stunned. This was the last thing she had been expecting partially because she thought Nicky would have landed herself in more trouble since she left. She couldn't quite believe that Nicky was getting out but her thoughts immediately turned to Alex. That was the thing between her and Alex, when Alex was around or even when her name was mentioned everything else became background and her only focus was on the beautiful brunette who she was overwhelmingly in love with.

She read over and over the letter thinking of a million different reasons as to what Nicky could want to tell her about Alex. Was it good news? Bad news? What could it possibly be. She felt physically sick at the uncertainty she currently felt and the complete lack of control she had. It was a week until Nicky was due to be released. A week of torture lay ahead for Piper. What if her date got pushed back and she was just left in the unknown for weeks or months even? Piper suddenly felt a surge of anger coursing through her veins. She stood up from the stool with such force that the stool flew back and clattered against the tile floor. It was as though a red mist had settled over Piper and the only emotion she could currently feel was anger. She was angry that she had no control over this situation. Angry at what had happened between her mother over the weekend. Angry that she couldn't talk to Alex. Angry that prison had taken over her life and had stopped her from being able to sleep. She was so fucking angry at everything that had happened since finding out she was going to prison.

She stormed into the bedroom, threw on some joggers and a hoody, marched over to the front door and grabbed her coat and shoes. As she stuffed the letter from Nicky into her pocket she walked out the front door of her apartment and headed outside to get some fresh air. Being cooped up in her apartment when she felt such rage was not a good idea. After spending over a year confined into an overcrowded prison Piper had the chance to appreciate the feeling of being able to just walk down the street freely to release her emotions. She was that caught up in how she was feeling right now that it hadn't even crossed her mind that it was the early hours of the morning and she was walking down the street on her own in the darkness. This wasn't the wisest of ideas.

With no real destination in mind Piper just walked until her legs tired. The streets were cold, dark and dead. There was no one around and even the roads were quiet except for the occasional taxi that drove past her. She was so focused on not thinking about Alex and the million possibilities that could have happened that she was also paying very little attention to where she was heading. After walking for approximately an hour she came to a holt, stopped dead in her tracks. She was stood outside Alex's old apartment block. "How the hell did I end up here?" She muttered under her breath. Finally, out of the raging trance she'd been in and back into the cold harsh reality. Even when she was consciously not thinking about Alex her subconscious mind had brought her to Alex or to Alex's old apartment at least. It was too much for Piper to deal with and as she stood there in front of the apartment block she started weeping uncontrollably. Something she hadn't allowed herself to do in some time. She was grieving for the loss she felt. The loss of Alex. She had no clue where she was or even if she was okay and she'd have to wait another week at least to find out any miniscule amount of information on the love of her life. She couldn't continue like this anymore. She was literally existing. It was as though all time stood still until she would be reunited with Alex again.

She turned her back on Alex's old apartment and headed back towards her own. She had to get into work in less than a few hours and it was now gone 4am. She had made her decision. She had to change something in her life. She had to start living again and not just existing. She was going to make a start on making a real life for herself. That plan was going to start today…


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Piper still had a few hours to kill before her staff arrived at work. She was eager to talk to Taystee about the note she had received from Nicky and she still had to fill her in about how her weekend had gone down at the Chapman household. Such an exciting life she led. She was sat in her office just letting her mind wonder over her most recent dramas and tried to remember when he life was last somewhat ordinary and normal. She sat in her plush office leather chair and began day dreaming back to a time when she felt her life was perfect.

 ** _Flashback_**

 _Alex and Piper were in Alex's apartment, Piper knew about Alex's involvement in the drug ring but was in no way involved at this point. Alex had just got back from one of her overseas trips and it was her first night back in the city._

 _"_ _Pipes, dinner is ready," Alex called from the kitchen._

 _Piper walked into the kitchen wearing red lacy underwear and nothing else._

 _"_ _hmmmmm maybe dinner can wait!" Piper smirked and sauntered towards her girlfriend._

 _"_ _oh, is that so. I have a surprise for you lined up too but I see you have other ideas right now..."_

 _Alex picked Piper up and pressed her against the kitchen wall. She started kissing her perfect lips slowly and gently whilst running her hands up and down Pipers thighs. She then moved her mouth lower to Pipers neck and started to nip and caress it with her tongue. Pipers heart rate and breathing were increasing. There was just something about Alex that affected her in the most erotic and sexual way. Piper's head was thrown back against the wall while Alex continued her assault on her neck. Without warning Alex moved their position and lay Piper down on the Island in the middle of the kitchen. This earned her an excited squeal from her girlfriend._

 _"_ _Is this what you had in mind Pipes when you came down in that very revealing outfit?"_

 _"_ _mmmmmm" was the only sound Piper could conjure._

 _Alex was overcome with passion and wanted to push Piper to the edge. She always wanted to make Piper explode with orgasm after orgasm. She had the ability to do this like no one else. She knew every inch of her girlfriend's body and knew how to get Piper screaming. She had all the control and she was going to make Piper fully aware of how in control she was._

 _Alex pinned Piper's arms above her head with one hand on to the cold hard marble work top and slowly began kissing down her neck until she reached Piper's small perky breast. Using her free hand to pull down the red lacey bra she began to suck, lick and bite around Piper's nipple. She continued to slowly arouse Piper focusing solely on her breasts. Piper was becoming inpatient and wanted Alex to move lower down her body but Alex was determined to tease her girlfriend to the point where Piper could no longer take the frustration building from her core._

 _"_ _Al please, I need you,"_

 _Alex replied keeping her mouth plush against the skin between Pipers breasts._

 _"_ _Always so needy Pipes. How much did you miss me?"_

 _Piper raised her head slightly so she could look directly into Alex's lust filled green eyes, she couldn't help but get lost in her girlfriend's beautiful green eyes and after a few seconds of admiring how amazing it was to have Alex back and caressing her body she responded…_

 _"_ _mmmm too much."_

 _Alex couldn't wait any longer either. Seeing her girlfriend get lost in her eyes peaked her sex drive higher than usual and with that added passion she ripped off Pipers' lace panties and moved her mouth to her girlfriend's core. There was now urgency and desire between the two of them as they were lay on the kitchen counter top with Alex situated between Piper's legs. She moved her hands from pinning Piper down and now placed one on the inside of each thigh. Pushing her thighs apart and against the work top Alex moved her mouth slowly to Pipers clit. She began at a rapid pace which had Piper panting and moaning immediately. She continued to suck and lick Piper's clit with a firm pressure and at a high tempo pace. Piper was beginning to come undone through Alex's touch. She had never experienced intensity in sexual experiences until she met Alex. She was squirming under her touch, wanting and needing more._

 _"_ _Alex I want you inside me, I need to feel you inside me, I want you to fuck me,"_

 _Alex responded physically and inserted two fingers straight into Piper's dripping core. This earned a deep guttural moan from Piper._

 _Hearing the noises coming from her girlfriend Alex couldn't wait to tell Piper about the other surprise she had lined up she lifted her mouth slightly off Piper's centre and rasped_

 _"_ _That's not the only surprise I have for you Pipes! I'm sure you'll enjoy the next one just as much"_

 _The vibrations from Alex's husky voice only added to the pleasuring sensation her fingers were causing whilst buried deep inside her girlfriend. She began to curl her fingers hitting the sweet spot that she knew would drive Piper screaming over the edge. She continued to pump and curl her fingers deep inside of Piper. Swiping her tongue over and over her girlfriend's clit with the slight nip and suck of the pulsating bundle of nerves, Piper was becoming wetter and wetter and her walls were beginning to clamp tighter and tighter around Alex's fingers, trying to draw them deeper inside of her. Alex added a third finger on her next deep hard thrust causing Piper to scream out,_

 _"_ _Fuck that feels so good, Al I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm coming…"_

 _"_ _Show, don't tell!"_

 _With that added request from her girlfriend and the added sensation of the extra digit thrusting deep inside her Piper climaxed, moaning and screaming as her toes curled. Alex could feel the orgasm ripping through her girlfriend's body and Piper had her head flung back and her eyes crunched tightly as Alex slowed down her movements inside of Piper when her orgasm began to subside. She kissed her way back up of Pipers stomach and torso as she slowly withdrew her fingers from Piper's dripping centre. As she reached her girlfriends plump swollen lips she kissed firmly and deeply._

 _"_ _Fuck, I've missed doing that to you while I've been away. I don't think I'll ever get tired of making you scream!"_

 _Piper was still panting and coming down from her intense orgasm "I missed you," Was the only comprehendible words she could manage._

 _"_ _Well I have another surprise for you that I think you might like as it means for the next few days we can do this without any distractions or interruptions. Just you and me in a king-size bed or a secluded beach for 6 days… how does that sound?"_

 _Piper was now breathing normally and finally had some energy to raise her head. Alex was straddling her stomach and caressing up and down her arms. Piper raised one of her eyebrows and gazed into Alex's eyes once more._

 _"_ _What do you mean 6 days?"_

 _"_ _Pack your bags baby, we are going on a little trip. We leave in the morning."_

 _That was the first trip they had ever gone on together. Six days in paradise in a remote beach hut in the Bahamas. It was perfect. Nothing else in the world mattered in those six days. Everything else was just background._

The walls of perfection came crashing down when Piper heard a knock on her office door.

Piper busied herself on her computer opening her emails before she responded to the knock on the door. "Come in…" She responded.

"Morning boss, I came in a little early to get the deets of what went down with the Chapman Clan." Taystee had a smug look on her face as she knew she was going to be amused with a tale or two involving the one and only Carol Chapman.

"There is no need to look too pleased with yourself Taystee, this is my life that you find so amusing!" Piper retorted with a coy smile on her face.

Taystee smirked once more and eagerly sat in the chair opposite Piper's whilst rubbing her hands together. She could not wait for more revelations on what Piper's mother had been up to this time.

After Piper had filled her in on her blind date and how she had completely shocked everyone at the dinner table with her prison confession she couldn't help but giggle along with Taystee.

"Damn that women is something else, I don't know how you put up with her all these years, she make prison seem like a holiday." Taystee offered.

"Yep she sure is unique I'll give her that." Piper added.

"Anyway, I have something else I need to talk to you about but we do have to get some work done today… how about drinks when we finish in the bar down the road?" Piper asked.

"Hmmmm if you are after advice from me that means you are buying the first round!" With that said Taystee turned on her heal and walked out of Piper's office.

"Deal!" Piper called after her.

The rest of the day ran smoothly. She worked through emails and orders ensuring everything was still on track and by lunch time she had decided that maybe booking a session with a counsellor wouldn't be the worst idea she had ever had. After trawling trough a few web pages she had found a local counsellor that wasn't ridiculously priced and didn't sound too cliché. As she was dialling the number on the phone she felt a lump in her throat. "This is the first step to getting my life back on track." She mumbled to reassure herself. As the phone began to ring she swallowed deeply to try and stay calm. The receptionist picked up and she made an appointment for the next day. The receptionist was pleasant and helpful and reassured her that her first session would only be a twenty-minute introduction session and she could see how she felt afterwards before committing for any further appointments.

Piper let out a deep sigh after hanging up the phone and decided to take a walk through the workshop to see how the orders were progressing, again another distraction from all the issues going on in her life. What would she do without her business to keep her busy.

Just as the working day was coming to an end, Taystee appeared all bright eyed and bushy tailed ready for a few drinks after a hard days work.

"Are you ready to go boss? You might want to freshen up a bit first you have soap stuff all over you!" Taystee pointed to Pipers top which had become dirty in the workshop. "You ain't gonna get any loving looking dirty girl," She added.

Piper laughed loudly in a sarcastic and ironic manor. "Finding a new lover is the last thing on my mind BELIEVE ME! C'mon let's go before I change my mind about paying for the first few rounds!"

They locked up and strolled together towards a small chilled bar down the road whilst chatting and making jokes about some of the events of the day…


	7. Chapter 7

_**(Not sure who is still reading this or if you are actually enjoying it but here's an update anyway...)**_

They entered the bar and found a booth that was situated in the corner. After looking at the menu for a few moments Piper began tapping her foot on the floor becoming slightly agitated.

"What's with the tappin'?" Taystee questioned.

"Nothing, nothing I just feel a little frustrated that's all." Piper murmured.

"Are we talking about the same kinda frustrated I think you mean huh? Girl you need to get yourself some!" Taystee smirked and gave Piper a raised eyebrow.

"No. It's not like that. Look let's get a drink and I'll tell you all about it."

Piper went to the bar and ordered herself a margarita and ordered Taystee a glass of chilled rose wine. The bar was starting to fill up now with more and more people, it was particularly busy for a Monday night. Piper wasn't so keen on busy crowds after her time in Litchfield, she felt trapped and claustrophobic when places got too busy.

As she set the drinks down on the table she could feel herself becoming more irritated. Irritated by her thoughts, irritated by the customers in the bar and just irritated in the lack of control she was currently feeling over her life in general.

"Look so I received a letter from Nicky recently and she's getting out of Litchfield soon and wants to see me. She says she has information on Alex." Piper blurted this information out towards Taystee as though she couldn't contain the thoughts within her head anymore. She took a deep breath and slowly raised her gaze towards Taystee's face, she wasn't even aware she had been staring at the floor when blurting out the confession of the letter.

"Hmmmm, I mighta known it was something to do with Vause that got under your skin?" Taystee responded. She didn't seem the slightest bit shocked or phased by the news that Nicky was getting out of prison which led Piper to become even more irritable.

"Wait? Did you know that Nicky was already getting out?" Piper was now speaking at a higher volume and becoming increasingly agitated.

The lack of response from Taystee was the only confirmation she needed to prove her suspicions as correct.

With gritted teeth and a harsh but low tone Piper quizzed her 'friend' "Why didn't you tell me? What other information have you been keeping to yourself?"

"Look I don't know much alright, I just heard through a few sources that things are different at Litchfield now and it isn't a place that I want to go back too after last time so I'm kinda just tryin' to distance myself away from it and you should too! You gotta good thing going don't get dragged back into the Litchfield drama!" She took a sip of her drink and watched Piper process what she was saying.

Piper finally took a seat opposite her friend, she put her head in her hands whilst trying to make sense of what was being said. After a tense few moments between the two she finally spoke once more.

"Have you ever had the feeling where you feel as though you can't breathe, can't function, can't think? Have you ever felt as though you are just a shell of yourself and hollow inside? Have you ever felt so lost you think you'll never find the light of day again? Without Alex that is how I feel every single day. I can't think straight without her, I can't breathe easily without her. I can't exist as myself without her. You don't understand what it is like to find your soul mate, the love of your life and then have that ripped away from you with no explanation or reason. Walking away from her once almost killed me and I made that decision myself. But now, now I can only assume she has been taken away from me. I don't know where she is or even if she is okay. I have no control and it is slowly killing me. So if Nicky even has the slightest bit of information that sheds a tiny ray of hope of me finding her then I'm going to do anything I possibly can to speak to her…" Piper now had tears streaming down her face. This was the first time she had admitted to anyone how she was truly feeling inside. She was barely existing without Alex.

Taystee stood up and walked around the booth and sat next to Piper. She put her arm around her shoulder and pulled her in for a hug… "Damn that is some deep, deep love. I knew you and Vause were in love but I had no idea this is how you felt."

Piper began sobbing quietly. "I just don't think I can live the rest of my life existing in this world without the love of my life." Tears we streaming down her face at this point and she didn't even care that she was out in public.

It felt good to finally get some of her emotion out. At least after telling Taystee how she felt it should make her therapy session in the morning slightly easier.

After Taystee had comforted her for quite some time they turned their evening into a bit more of a light-hearted affair, they had a few more drinks at the bar and then Taystee suggested they head home as it was a Monday after all. Piper was feeling slightly tipsy after having a few cocktails but assured her friend that she'd make it home safely as she wasn't too far from her apartment.

After saying their goodbyes outside the bar, they headed in separate directions to get home. It was a cool evening in the city and it was beginning to get dark outside but Piper decided that the walk home would help her clear her head a little and maybe a bit of fresh air would make her feel slightly sober. She began walking in the direction of her apartment enjoying the cool air hitting her face. The streets weren't particularly busy but there were enough people around for her to feel quite secure on her walk. After walking a few blocks she turned around the corner of her street. She smiled knowing that she'd be home and be able to shut the world out for another day.

As she reached the steps at the bottom of her building she saw someone in the corner of her eye. This caused her to double take. She glared over at the figure on the opposite side of the road. It was rather dark at this point and it was difficult to make out who it was but something at the back of her mind was telling her she recognised this woman. She looked up and down the street once more and recognised the same car that she'd seen on Saturday morning. Starting to wonder that something wasn't right she approached the door to her building and stepped inside closing the door behind her. She leant on the door and racked her brains trying to remember where she recognised the woman from. She recognised the face but where from?

For the life of her she couldn't put a name to the face and decided she had better head up to her apartment and get some sleep. She was slightly tipsy still from the cocktails and she had her first therapy session to think about in the morning.

It was around 3am when Piper woke with a fright! "Shit no it couldn't be her, surely not! Fuck how could I forget the face of a woman who punched me for sleeping with her girlfriend!" she mumbled to herself. "Why would she be outside my apartment?". Piper got out of bed and headed into the living room to look out the window. It was pitch black outside and the street lights barely shed enough light to see the path below her apartment.

Piper was getting paranoid now. She was questioning herself and doubting what she saw. She began pacing up and down the living room trying to understand why Sylvie would be outside her apartment. Was it just a coincidence? Did she know something about Alex? This was all just too much for her to take in. Maybe therapy is a good idea. Maybe I'm just imagining things to feel closer to Alex. Maybe I just need help. All these thoughts were swimming around her head.

There was no way she was going to be able to get back to sleep now. So, she turned to her good old faithful coping mechanism. She grabbed a book off the very full bookshelf in her front room, snatched the blanket off the back of the sofa and wrapped it around her shoulders and sat herself on the large rug in the middle of the room. One way to escape reality is to get lost in fiction…


	8. Chapter 8

The next morning as she sat in therapists waiting room she could feel her anxiety increasing. The blood flow was rushing around her body and she could feel her pulse beating rapidly in her temple. The last councillor she had seen was Mr. Healy and it wasn't a pleasant experience. Granted she didn't have high expectations of guidance councillors in prison but he was even worse than she could have imagined. He used his power to exert his misguided views on women and try to mentally break inmates. As Piper sat there all the time feeling more and more uneasy she began to have a panic attack over her memory of being inside Mr. Healy's office right before being thrown in SHU. The room in which she was sat become blurry and distant all the furniture became fuzzy and all she could picture was the grey; heavy metal door being slammed behind her as she was thrown into solitary.

A wave a nausea passed over her and she felt violently sick. Piper knew she needed to get her breathing under control in order to calm herself down. She had previously had many panic attacks similar to this and knew that eventually the fear would pass. She was anxious that she was showing a sign of weakness in the therapist waiting room and she needed to get her shit together. She didn't want to see the therapist while being so vulnerable and open from her panic attack. She focused on a spot on the opposite wall to her and began to take control of her breathing. She was counting the seconds in her head- breathing in through her nose for five seconds and out through her mouth for seven seconds. She repeated this notion while focusing solely on a spot she had picked on the wall. It was an imperfection in the paint work. After repeating this breathing exercise for a few minutes, she felt herself relax slightly in the chair, her muscles became less tense and her breathing less erratic.

After what seemed like hours, her name was called from a door in the far corner of the room. She tore her eyes away from the imperfection on the wall and looked over towards the owner of the voice. She started from the feet and worked her way up towards the face. As her eyes glided up the body of the person who called her name she couldn't help but appreciate how nice they appeared, when her eyes finally met the end of their route up the body, she focused on the face of the woman stood calling her name. She was tall, slim and had a youthful looking face, she could only have been around 30 years old. She seemed pleasant enough from first sight and this put Piper at ease. She rose to her feet and headed towards the woman who had called her name. As she approached, the woman held out her hand and spoke…

"Good morning Miss Chapman, I'm Sara pleased to meet you."

Piper shook her hand and smiled faintly,

"Good morning and please call me Piper,"

"Piper it is. Would you like to follow me…"

Sara turned and walked elegantly down a small corridor before reaching a room at the end. Piper followed gradually behind her and entered the room. It was a modern room of average size; the walls were a clean magnolia colour. There wasn't much in the room just a few leather chairs and a coffee table between them and a few quotes were painted on the walls. One said 'Difficult roads often lead to the most beautiful destinations' Piper thought to herself how much she hoped that quote was true, after all she found herself currently on a difficult road with no real destination in sight.

"Would you like to take a seat Piper and can I get you anything to drink? Coffee?"

"Ermmmm thank you but could I please just get a water," Piper slowly sat down and felt her nerves strike again, she suddenly felt very vulnerable.

"Sure, no problem." Sara walked to the corner of the room and poured a water and set it down on the table in front of Piper.

As Sara sat down opposite Piper there seemed to be a nervous energy in the room. After a few moments of silence Piper began to fidget with the corner of her top, she was playing with the end of the material between her thumb and a finger. Sara noticed how nervous Piper seemed to be and took the lead of the conversation.

"So, Piper today is just an introductory session. We will take everything at your pace. Why don't you start by telling me a little about yourself? Where do you work for instance?" Sara smiled as she asked the question and Piper couldn't help notice how perfect her teeth seemed to be. She looked towards Sara and answered the question very robotically and lacking any real emotion. "I have my own business, I make bath products, soap and such."

"That's such a creative job… have you always been creative?" Sara replied trying to delve deeper into the conversation.

Piper was still very nervous and very defensive. "Hmmmm not really it wasn't originally my idea, it was a... friend." Piper again tried to remain robotic and monotone with her answer but Sara sensed a slight hesitation and a note of sarcasm on the word friend.

"oh, so you and your friend run the business together?" She probed wanting Piper to expand a little further with her answers.

"Not quite." Piper replied nonchalantly.

"So you run the business by yourself?" Piper nodded in response to the question. "Wow that's something to be proud of, to have your own business up and running at such a young age?"

"I guess it is. I do okay. Doesn't leave much time for a personal life though. Mostly it is just work, work and more work," Piper felt some sense of achievement, she was successful with her work life it was just a shame her personal life was a mess. She hadn't intended to give so much information away with her previous answer but her sense of achievement over her business and made her open slightly towards Sara.

"So, tell me a bit about your personal life then, are you married?" Sara enquired.

This question made Piper close right back up. "No, not married. Almost was but that kind of didn't work out."

After a few more questions and Piper revealing very little information about her personal life, which is completely normal for a first session in therapy Sara decided to call the session to a close.

"Well I think that was a good start as an introductory session, don't you?" Sara asked.

"It just feels kind of alien to me right now after my previous experience in a situation like this, but I would like to make another appointment for next week maybe? If that's okay?" Pipers' nerves had risen again and she wasn't feeling so sure of herself.

"Same time next week is fine. I will see you in a week." Sara smiled and stood to her feet to escort Piper out the door. She smiled warmly before bidding her farewell.

Piper walked out the building and headed towards work. She felt strange in a way. Her first session hadn't really helped with anything but at the same time she felt as though she had made a small step of progress by going to the appointment in the first place. It was like the first step to recovery. As she approached work she knew the girls would already be busy and that Taystee would have taken charge in her absence. She didn't have too much to do at the office today just ensure that targets were being met to complete orders. As she approached the office door someone called her name from across the street…

"Yo Chapman I'm out!"

Piper turned around to be greeted by a wild bush of frizzy hair.


	9. Chapter 9

As Piper looked towards Nicky her mouth hung slightly agape in surprise and shock. She couldn't quite believe Nicky Nicholls was stood in front of her outside of the prison fences of Litchfield. After a few moments to compose herself she walked towards Nicky and wrapped her arms around her.

"My god Nicky I can't believe you are stood in front of me right now!"

"Well I guess your prayers have been answered Chapman." Nicky quipped with her trademark smirk.

"It is soooo good to see you, I got your letter but I didn't know if or when you'd find me, how did you find me by the way?" Piper quizzed with a confused expression on her face.

"Erm let's just say I had help and well we have a lot to discuss." Nicky responded.

"So are we just going to stand here staring at each other all day Chapman I mean I'm not complaining because you are good to look at but…" Nicky teased.

"No of course I just need to tell Taystee that I'm taking the day off and then we can head over to my place?" Piper suggested.

"Sure thing Chapman, I guess I will just wait here then."

Piper entered her office and quickly grabbed Taystee's attention and ushered her into her office frantically. The suspense was killing her she just wanted to get back to her place with Nicky and find out every possible grain of information she could about Alex.

"Hey look I need to take the day off, it's important so you can handle stuff here right?" Piper was speaking at an erratic pace.

"Sure, why not I do everything else around here recently anyway!" Taystee cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

"Thanks I owe you big time!" Piper was out the door before she had even finished her sentence.

She rushed out the office not taking notice of any of her staff in the production room, she ran down the stairs back on to the street. She exited the building expecting Nicky to be waiting right outside. To her surprise, Nicky wasn't stood on the sidewalk in front of her building. Her heart began beating and panic began to set in. She looked around the street frantically searching for her wild haired friend. Nicky Nichols wasn't a person who easily merged into the background, with hair as wild as hers you could usually spot her a mile off, not really a trait you hope to have when you're a criminal. Being recognised easily isn't a characteristic of your appearance you want. After a few frantic head turns she spotted Nicky lighting up a cigarette in an ally way entrance about 15 feet away from her shop building. Piper meaningfully hurried toward Nicky with complete disregard of anyway between them.

"You scared me, I thought you'd left… Why are you stood here out of sight?" Piper quizzed.

"I'm not used to the hustle a bustle of outside life just yet… I get anxiety and so do you by the look on your face and the way your mouth is moving a mile a minute… calm down chapman." Nicky smirked and flicked her eyebrows up repeatedly.

"Alright, alright! I just panicked. People seem to get away from me quite easily these days. Come on lets head to my place."

The two walked the short distance towards Piper's apartment. Piper had walked this route hundreds of times and it never felt as long as it did today. She had so much she wanted to ask but didn't quite have the words to use. She mulled over so many questions in her mind on the walk to her place.

It was kind of awkward being reunited with Nicky outside of Litchfield they both stole glances at each other and offered awkward smiles. The person you become in prison is not necessarily who you are or who you think you are in normal society. In Piper's circumstance prison changed her for the worst because she evolved into the person she needed to be in order to survive, someone who lacked emotion and empathy. She became selfish because that's what you must do in prison to survive, you cannot show weakness, only strength. The same can be said about Nicky, she replaced her love for drugs for a love of sex in prison. Sex was Nicky's drug while she was at Litchfield. Now meeting each other outside of Litchfield it's as if they are meeting each other for the first time, they are not really friends but mere acquaintances they do not know this version of each other, sure Nicky still had her witty humour but she seemed more delicate, more normal now. Truth be told if they hadn't met in prison, their paths may never have crossed in the real world. They had different interests and different personalities but they had a bond which tied them together now… Litchfield.

After what felt like an age they finally arrived on Piper's block. Nicky was following her maybe a step behind as Piper led the way. As they turned the corner Piper finally spoke.

"Hey I meant to ask you… Who did you get to deliver the note?"

Nicky's face changed from nonchalant to one displaying slight hesitance.

"I don't think you are going to like this but…." Nicky gestured to a car across the street. The same car Piper had noticed on numerous occasions.

Piper's face looked slightly perplexed and confused in response to what Nicky was gesturing too.

"I hear you have met Sylvie before, right?" Nicky had her irritable smug nervous look on her face, one which Piper knew all too well.

"What the fuck?" was all Piper could murmur under hear breath. If her life wasn't already as complicated enough she had a gut feeling it was going to get worse and that she was most definitely not going to okay with where this was going.

A thousand more thoughts crashed through her mind. How was the woman who once punched her in the face now stood outside her house conspiring with a woman she had met in Prison? Why would Sylvie even want to see her again after the whole Alex situation. What the actual fuck was going on. Piper looked at Nicky again and then back towards the car.

Sylvie emerged from the car wearing black sunglasses and a baseball cap. She gradually walked towards where Piper and Nicky were standing. Slowly removing her shades, she stopped in front of the two of them. She looked as nervous as Piper as she came to a stop.

"Well, well, well… if it isn't the girlfriend stealer… Nice to see you again Piper!"

"Alright Sylvie calm down and less of the sarcastic tone that's my area of expertise!" Nicky intervened.

"What are you doing here? What is going on?! Please someone just explain what the fuck is happening?" Piper was in frantic mode her panic attack was starting to kick in and she couldn't breathe Once again she could feel her heart throbbing in her temple and she felt as though she was going to faint, as she swayed back and her eyes clamped shut both Nicky and Sylvie grabbed her to steady herself.

Seeing Piper like that seemed to have affected Sylvie's bitch persona and she softened her approach with Piper. "Piper I'm not here to right any wrongs from our past, I just have some information that both Nicky and I feel will be of use to you. Come on let's get inside before we attract any unwanted attention."

And with that the very unusual threesome entered Piper's apartment.


	10. Chapter 10

As the three finally walked into Piper's apartment she quickly decided she needed a stiff drink. She walked straight into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of Vodka out of the cupboard and poured herself a glass. She had a quick shot of vodka before resting lifelessly against the kitchen unit. Her head was swimming with the unknown. She never ever thought she would have welcomed Sylvie into her apartment yet here she was. Two ex-convicts and the first woman to ever punch her in the face. It was like some ridiculous sitcom was playing out as her life.

"Chapman steady on with the vodka, or at least share you know?" Nicky winked.

"Is this actually real? Is this actually my life right now?" Piper was desperately trying to understand the current situation.

"Look I know none of this is ideal right now but it's about Alex…" Sylvie sympathised. She wasn't Piper's biggest fan that was certain but she wanted to do the right thing by Alex. After all her and Alex were only ever casual it wasn't as though she had been heartbroken by what had happened.

"My Alex? Oh god what is it? What do you know? Is she okay? I need to know where she is!" Piper was almost at the point of being hysterical once again.

She poured another glass of vodka and looked towards Nicky who just looked like an awkward bystander and then towards Sylvie gesturing the bottle towards the two…. "Want one?" She asked.

Nicky and Sylvie both nodded and accepted a drink. "Piper, Alex is fine for the time being it is her idea that we are here. She wanted fine specimen over here to get in touch with me to come and talk to you about what has been going on and that's why we are here right Nicky?" Sylvie plonked herself down on one of the adjacent kitchen stools as she began to piece things together for Piper who was still looking utterly confused as to what the hell was going on.

"You've heard from Alex?" Piper's voice quivered as she said her lovers name. She was happy that Alex was alright but felt a pang of jealousy knowing that Sylvie and Nicky, who had both experienced the wonderful Alex Vause in a sexual manner, had heard from Alex and that she had been left in complete darkness and complete despair.

"Alex asked me to contact Sylvie because she had no other way to get this information out of Litchfield. Piper it isn't the same place as when you left, shit in there is real bad right now and Vause had all privileges revoked. Piper she isn't in Gen Pop, last I saw she was on her way down to SHU." Nicky walked towards Piper slowly hoping she was taking this information in.

"Why did she end up in SHU? I haven't heard from her in months? Has she been in SHU all this time?" Tears started to silently run from Piper's eyes and her voice was barely above silent.

"When you left Vause was keeping herself to herself she wasn't causing trouble and she was avoiding any altercations with everyone. Shit was fine till Caputo left. We hadn't seen him in weeks and Piscatella was still around you know being his delightful self. One of his guards took a disliking to Vause I don't know why and he was making shit pretty difficult for her. I don't know the ins and outs I just know she was trying to avoid the bastard. She seemed on edge and pretty fucked up, then before we knew it she was carted off to SHU, I don't know why I really don't. Anyway, she managed to get a message to me off one of the Latinas who delivered her food and she just told me to get hold of Sylvie so I did. I had no way to contact you and Vause knew that so I had to get to Sylvie in order to get to you…" Nicky looked over to Sylvie hoping she could continue what was going on.

Sylvie nodded towards Nicky and continued "Alex knew she was going to prison and before she went away she got in touch with me. She had assets that needed to be shall we say taken care of before they were seized. We weren't on the best of terms before she went to prison but I said I would take care of it so we had arrangements in place for when she got out. When she went to Chicago to testify against Kubra she knew some shit was going to go down so again she got in touch to put some plans in place should either of you be released. Are you still with me so far Piper?"

"I don't understand I hated her when we went to Chicago? What did she ask of you should I be released?" Pipers brows were fused together in complete confusion.

"She had plans in place to ensure you had funds to get away should you need to avoid any danger, I was not to contact you until it was needed that's all I know." Sylvie shrugged her shoulders to confirm what she had just said.

"She knew I was going to lie on the stand, didn't she? She made sure they would come after her and not me?" Piper grabbed the bottle of vodka once more and poured another glass. "All this time I thought she was trying to save her own ass and she wasn't she was trying to protect me?!" She slumped to the floor of her kitchen still holding her glass as fresh tears fell down her face.

"Piper I don't know Alex as well as you but I do know that when she left me she was completely head over heels in love with you, so I am not the least bit surprised that she had arrangements in place to protect you. I mean I was a bit pissed off that she expected me of all people to sort shit out for you but after hearing how it went down with Kubra I couldn't say no to her." Sylvie looked towards Piper once more ensuring she was still listening to what she was explaining.

"Alex knew that if I kept quiet and saw out my sentence they'd never bother me didn't she?" Piper looked at both Sylvie and Nicky for confirmation.

"Look Vause is pretty fucked up when it comes to you chapman, she's like a love sick puppy." Nicky added.

"Alex wasn't stupid Piper she knew that one day if Kubra wasn't put away that he'd send someone for her just like he did with Fahri. That's why she wanted this money to be hidden so that at least she had a chance to escape should the worst happen." Piper nodded towards Sylvie indicating she understood.

"None of this explains where Alex is now though?" Piper finally rose to her feet and walked into the living room.

Nicky and Sylvie looked at each other equally unsure of whether to follow her or not.

Sylvie cleared her throat as if to let Piper know of her whereabouts behind her. "Piper, when Alex broke her parole she had me dealing with her lawyer, he was working on getting her out through some loophole he knew of at the time. It looked certain at the time that he was going to get Alex off again with just a slap on the wrist for parole violation."

Piper spun around and looked quizzically at Sylvie, "She was going to be re-released? What happened?"

"Kubra got to her lawyer managed to scare him enough to back off the case, keeping Alex in prison where he knew he could get to her!"

"You mean he has the upper hand in all this and is still controlling what goes on… how fucking far does this corruption go?"

"Piper I don't know but Litchfield isn't owned by the D.O.C now is it? Which means it would be easier for Kubra to get to someone in the organisation that now own Litchfield…"

"So are you saying that you think he can still get to Alex now?"

"He already tried to, right? Last I heard anyway. I don't think that this is just going to go away Piper."

"I need to see her! I need to know that she is okay… when is this going to end, I cant keep going round in circles like this. We need to get her out of that place!" Piper slumped again to the floor as if current circumstances had knocked the wind out of her lungs.

"Piper you need to get a lawyer who knows what they are doing, someone who can dig around and get information. Without getting the information out about what is happening at that prison you do not stand a chance of getting Alex back. That reporter you spoke to? You still in contact with him?" Sylvie was trying her best to get Piper engage in what she was saying but she was struggling to keep Piper calm and focused.

"Look Chapman you need to get all the details out of that reporter and you need to get to someone who knows what shit goes on inside that prison you know like the ex-warden, like the one with the tight skirts and sexy ass." Nicky added.

"FIG!" Piper shouted with conviction.

"If you get Fig on your side then we have at least some information of what the fuck is going on in that place." Nicky replied.

"Your right all this time has gone by and I've just been sat here thinking about Alex and not actually done anything about it." Piper's realisation was enough to give her some motivation to find out if she could find anything that could help her get to Alex.

"Look ladies this is as far as I go with this. I hold no grudges with you or Alex but I can't stay involved with this. Let me know if you manage to speak to Alex. Tell her that her money is safe and to contact me when she needs it." with that Sylvie left Piper and Nicky alone to construct some sort plan of action.


	11. Chapter 11

"Nicky, first thing is first, we need to find out what information we can get now that Litch is run privately. We need to just dig up some information. See who is actually running the place. Background information basically." Piper informed.

"I guess I am kind of good and getting what I want out of people if you know what I mean I can do some research." Nicky replied.

"I need to see if I can talk to Fig but I don't know how, or what that will do for us. We can only try I guess. I will see what I can find out online to see if I can get a meeting with her maybe and we will just have to see how it goes from there." Piper shrugged and sat down on the sofa with her laptop eager to see what she could find.

"Hey, I have to get back to my place you know probation and all that but I'll leave you my number and we can keep in touch about what we find I guess." Nicky awkwardly said her goodbye and exited Piper's apartment.

Piper got to work first searching for Fig online to see where she was currently working. It didn't take too long for her to get a few hits on the internet. As far as Piper could tell Fig was now just the picturesque housewife of her senate seeking husband. She dealt with his campaign but most importantly her job was to make it seem like they were the happy American married couple with typical American values for the campaign trail.

Piper was flicking through some of the pictures of the two rolling her eyes at how deceptive a picture can be of a person. Fig was anything but the perfect little housewife in her opinion.

One article that she stumbled across held contact information for the campaign team. Piper took note of the email address and decided to construct an email to organise a meeting under the disguise of her company wanting to sponsor the campaign. After about half an hour of drafting and redrafting the email she finally felt like it was ready and official enough to send through to Fig's team, she had specially requested to be dealt with by Mrs Figueroa. Piper wasn't sure that this email would get anywhere so she decided to focus on finding a lawyer to get some advice on Alex's case. It was a long shot because she had violated her parole but it couldn't hurt to get some advice.

She turned her attention to some legal sites in the hope of finding a well certified and credited lawyer. She began with background information looking at the recent cases some of these lawyers had taken on and how they had faired in court. After relentless hours of research and realising she had spent most of the day reading about lawyers she finally found someone she thought would be able to at least give her some decent advice. Once again, she began to draft an email to arrange a meeting.

Piper decided that was enough for the day feeling she had taken some positives steps regarding helping Alex. She closed her laptop and rested it on the empty seat next to her on the sofa and decided she deserved another alcoholic drink after the events of the day. She walked over to the kitchen and began pouring herself a drink. On the kitchen counter top was an envelope. She opened the envelope and inside were some banking details she realised that Sylvie must have left her with the details of Alex's accounts. She pondered why Sylvie would be so thoughtful and concluded that Alex must have paid her a substantial sum in order to take care of things "I Guess whatever is left is to help Alex be safe" she mumbled to herself.

After drinking a substantial amount of alcohol Piper eventually passed out on the sofa. Alcohol was her new coping mechanism just like it was her mother's. it helped Piper numb the pain of all the crappy events that had taken place since well… going to prison. Her life could have turned out so much differently. She could have had the perfect little family her mother had wanted for her but that didn't work out too well for Carol now did it. The persona of a hard-working husband and three perfect children. The only child that Carol was proud of was Danny. He had somehow managed to remain normal giving the circumstances in which they had grown up in. Cal had gone the complete opposite way and despised normality so much he lived miles away from civilisation and Piper well she had decided to chase after the adrenaline rush that was Alex Vause, the tall, hot, gorgeous Alex Vause. She wouldn't be 'normal' until she had Alex back in her arms, safe and confident as she always was.

When Piper finally awoke she checked her emails, nothing as of yet. Her hangover started to take hold and her head was starting to pound ever so grimly. She stood up from the sofa and checked her phone she had a text from Nicky.

 _Hey chapman not found much just that some big corporate company took over… they seem to have a few prisons under their name. Not sure what this means._

Piper scratched her head, she knew it was a long shot and that a corporate company didn't have to submit public records. Her best shot was sure to be Fig. That women knew the seedy ins and outs of everything that went on in that prison. She probably still had her fingers in a few pies at Litch. She was going to have to wait this one out until Fig actually replied. In the meantime, she needed to contact the lawyer and find out Alex's legal situation and she also had a business to run.

Oh how she longed to be reunited back will Alex. Her whole adult life since meeting Alex Vause she was never able to get over how much she wanted that women. There was just something about Alex that Piper always needed. Even the years they had been apart she was never too far from Piper's mind.. the simplest thing would make her reminisce about her one true love. Whether it be smelling her perfume or the taste of marzipan. The thought of Alex Vause had always stayed with her.


End file.
